HAPPY MARRIAGE

A HAPPY MARRIAGE is what every couple dreams of. Hence, advises Tina Abdullah from TRW Consultancy, one should regard marital relationship as a collaboration. To ensure a successful lifelong loving relationship, both partners must put in effort. The four areas, says Tina, which usually need attention in a marriage are communication, negotiation, personal and relationship growth. Here are tips on how you can improve on them.

COMMUNICATION

Tell your partner what’s on your mind. Get into the habit of using “I” statements instead of “you” statements. Communication is also listening to what the other party has to say. You should extend common courtesy to the person you will be spending the rest of your life with. Knowing when and how to say sorry can mend a rift and heal hurt feelings.

NEGOTIATION

The art of negotiation ensures both parties win, and this takes a lot of practice. Though you may feel happy with the way things are, you need to resolve issues that may be eating your partner up. Ignoring the problem won’t make it go away. Even if on the surface the issue seems hopelessly divided, further discussion can open areas for trade-offs. Not many problems are so lopsided that there is no avenue for negotiation.

PERSONAL GROWTH

Most things in life don’t stay the same. This includes the way you love each other and the direction your relationship takes. Knowing your own needs and meeting them will prevent you from feeling that life is just one big sacrifice for others.

RELATIONSHIP GROWTH

Any relationship needs to grow. Marriage operates like a bank account: there are deposits and withdrawal. Doing things for one another is a deposit. Arguing or breaking a promise is a withdrawal. A loving and enduring marriage needs a lot of deposits, made conscientiously and regularly over the years.